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In Light of the Lyrics App Debacle

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Apple initially rejected Jelle Prins’ iPhone app Lyrics, which displays lyrics for the songs in your music library, including the profanity contained in some song lyrics. Apple cited that fact as the reason for turning Prins down.

Oh Apple, look what I found:

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Perhaps maybe you should make them censor it?

Ooh, and there’s this other app that allows unfiltered access to the internet, including objectionable content which you seem not to like allowing. I think it’s called… um.... Safari, that’s it! Wait a minute....

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Yeah, make the developers of that conduit of smut pay for their sins against our children.

Speaking of children, won’t somebody think of them?



Classy Gradient Wallpapers Using Only MS Paint

If you just want a classy, simple wallpaper, but only have access to MS Paint (this is most useful in an office,) there exists a way to create simple gradients using an image as small as nine pixels square.

  1. Use the Attributes dialog to specify a very small image. Depending on the amount of colors you want to use for the gradient, you may want to add more or less, but keep the image square.
  2. The pencil tool can be used to color individual pixels and fill the image. Play around with the shape and tones of the intended gradient.
  3. Save the file as a .jpg.
  4. Set it as your wallpaper, in stretch mode. Windows will scale the image as if it were a photograph, and smoothly blend the image.

et viola!

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To download the sample image, “Right Click, Save As” this text.



Oh Great Thanks A Big Bundle Microsoft Marketing Department

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No, really, thanks. Not only now do I have to deal with your stupid ad campaign getting plastered all over the internet, getting talked about by anyone and everyone with an opinion and just a smidge of an audience (oh, and the actual campaign you’re running, too) now I’ll have to see more of the opposite but equal counterpart: “Hey Guys I’m a Mac I’m supposed to be cool but instead I’m Justin Long isn’t that weird?” Yes, that’s right, the Apple marketing department is likely right now--at this very moment--working on their witty rebuttal. So not only do I have to sit through more parts of their ads that don’t involve John Hodgman, I have to sit through more Daily Show episodes that do not feature him as a correspondent. And on top of that, whiny internet nerds who are not me.

No, seriously, great job.



OK, This is Just Excessive, Guys

Seriously, two times now? Come on, did you people really think Valve wouldn’t notice you running around with items that should take months to acquire on release day?

Part of me thinks the penalties should be getting more severe, not less.

Ok that’s enough GENERIC INTERNET RAGE for now.



Safari 4 Beta (tl;dr: meh)

So I come home this afternoon to find that all the blogs are abuzz with the glee of new software. Naturally, I approach (with far more dignity, I might add (because of how dignified I am (I am awesome))) the source of this kerfuffle to discover that, surprise surprise, it’s about Apple.

“Whoop de doo,” I thought, “another session of Apple blowing their own horn over something that really doesn’t need it.” And I was right. Mostly. Safari 4 contains the following new features:

  • A slight extension of the browser epenis that is JavaScript rendering speed
  • The speed dial feature of Opera except now it’s on a concave surface and you can rearrange the sites
  • The entire top interface of Chrome in its entirety
  • More instances of Coverflow being run directly into the ground (experts predict that we will have depleted our Coverflow reserves by 2015 in optimistic estimates)
  • The fact that they finally understand that no one cares about their Mac-looking interface when it’s not actually on a Mac
  • A few rendering engine enhancements that will have come to every other browser by the time people other than Apple actually use those features in web design
  • A slight animation…
    (Continue)


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