Deep Thought has received word from an anonymous source that Microsoft is set to release Windows 7...next month. The reason? People just don’t like Vista. Our source sent us an excerpt from an internal memo:

TO: All Microsoft Employees
FROM: Steve Ballmer
RE: Windows 7

Dear team,
We have decided to move up the Windows 7 release date to sometime next month. The Windows development team has been working around the clock to get Windows 7—which will be branded as Windows the Magnificent --ready years ahead of schedule. In fact, we have had a secret team working on Windows 7 since before Vista’s development concluded. We were hoping to release it at a later date, but unfortunately Vista was such a commercial failure that we couldn’t wait any longer and had to move up Windows 7 by a little bit.

More information will be forthcoming in the coming days.

What does this mean for Microsoft? “They have learned how to listen to their customers, without a doubt,” noted analyst A.P. Rulfulse from the firm Lawson, Mayer, Aldridge, and Owens, LLC.  “It’s unfortunate for Microsoft that Vista was such a miserable failure, but I believe they learned their lesson. Moving up the Windows 7—the Magnificent—release shows that Microsoft is still a dynamic force in today’s tech economy.”

“Microsoft followers who saw Vista’s reign as a reign of terror will be pleased by this development.” said George Otcha of Ronald-Otcha Technology Forecasting. “The jury is still out on Windows the Magnificent, of course, but it can’t possibly be worse than the consumer response to Vista.”

Microsoft was not available for comment. Lame.

Feed your RSS reader. Subscribe.