In an apparent case of “Somebody can’t take a joke,” DRM scheme developer SunnComm released a press release today to deny that they are working with Apple and Microsoft to develop a new version of FairPlay, iTunes’ DRM scheme.

SunnComm International, Inc. (Pink Sheets:SCMI), maker of MediaMax, America’s best selling and most accepted content protection and enhancement technology, announced today that certain reports announcing a joint venture with one of its competitors are absolutely not true.

The report in question? A satyrical article on p2pnet.net. The “report” states that the “new version” of FairPlay would “do” “the” “following:”

When an iPod (or other) user wearing the new audio devices plays an iTunes track not sanctioned by Organized Music (EMI Group, Vivendi Uiversal, Warner Music), Fair Play feedback ‘instructs’ the buds to emit a piercing, high-pitched scream in stereo at 250 decibels.

Microsoft’s PowerHit system is a DRM application keyed to the company’s Power Management technology. Starting at midnight on December 1, all users of Windows 2000 and higher will receive automatic system updates which will instruct desktops, laptops and PDAs running appropriate MS OS software to release a 125-volt anti-p2p DRM ‘charge’ into computer chassis every users attempt to play unauthorised iTunes tracks.

The Mac Observer reports that “the space shuttle engines produce sound levels at 215db, and 200db can be fatal to humans.” 125 volts is, well, a lot of electric current (the average household’s electrical system runs at 120 volts).

Kudos to P2PNet for their great deadpanning of their article.