So I come home this afternoon to find that all the blogs are abuzz with the glee of new software. Naturally, I approach (with far more dignity, I might add (because of how dignified I am (I am awesome))) the source of this kerfuffle to discover that, surprise surprise, it’s about Apple.

“Whoop de doo,” I thought, “another session of Apple blowing their own horn over something that really doesn’t need it.” And I was right. Mostly. Safari 4 contains the following new features:

• A slight extension of the browser epenis that is JavaScript rendering speed
• The speed dial feature of Opera except now it’s on a concave surface and you can rearrange the sites
• The entire top interface of Chrome in its entirety
• More instances of Coverflow being run directly into the ground (experts predict that we will have depleted our Coverflow reserves by 2015 in optimistic estimates)
• The fact that they finally understand that no one cares about their Mac-looking interface when it’s not actually on a Mac
• A few rendering engine enhancements that will have come to every other browser by the time people other than Apple actually use those features in web design
• A slight animation when skipping to named anchors

Let’s step back and have a look at that item three up from the bottom. Yes, this one:

The fact that they finally understand that no one cares about their Mac-like interface when it’s not actually on a Mac

Unfortunately for Apple, the King shall remain on his throne. Hopefully, however, this exciting new turn of interface events makes it to iTunes and Quicktime. In the case of the former, my head will most likely combust.