Spending another Valentines Day alone? My dissatisfaction-guaranteed Geek Pickup Lines are certain to keep it that way! Here are a few of my favorites:

• Hey babe, what’s your chipset?
• Is it hot in here or is it the Dual-core G5?
• I lost my IP address. Can I have yours?
• Come here and fill my empty RAM slot.
• You want a piece of this hardware, don’t you? Oh yeah!
• You’re one hot motherboard!
• What’s a pretty Athlon 64 like you doing in a place like this?
• I’m 2.5 GHz and very available.
• I have an amazing Reality Distortion Field.
• You are my master (drive), I am your slave.

Hey, stop groaning; I never said these were any good!

Got some more? Post a comment! Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

I’m suing Apple.*

Yeah, that’s right; you read it here first. I’m suing Apple. It seems they’ve made OS X much too cool for any real work. I mean, it’s beautiful! It lures suckers like myself in and causes us to actually enjoy using computers, while fostering a developer community that churns out cool apps left and right. But it in inherently flawed. It seems I spend too much time using my iBook (which I’m suing Apple over as well, being it’s much too cool of a laptop), and not doing, you know, schoolwork. See? Grounds for a lawsuit! It’s a clear-cut victory for lazy fools like myself. Who needs personal responsibility when you have the lawsuit? Personal responsibility is so last century.

All right, so maybe I’m not suing Apple. But the sad thing is that I could. I could find some issue--or non-issue--and sue Apple for millions. My iBook is scratched; I’m suing Apple. I plugged my iPod into my stereo, cranked up the volume all the way, started playing some Metallica, and it was so loud that it caused my ears to bleed; I’m suing Apple. Of course, that second one would probably never happen as I’d…
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What is Apple’s method for sales success when product cycles are getting quicker and quicker?  In seduction, when someone has figured out a way to bed women repeatably, they name their method (e.g. The Mystery Method).  In electronics, Apple has been practicing for years and successfully attracting customers like me and you.

Excuses or coincidences that have happened around when I get the itch for a new Apple:
1) Something was recently released but only by Apple
2) There was a price cut on ANY model, not necessarily even related to what I’m after
3) Rumors predict something very big, like wireless iPods, but I presume it won’t reach the product I’m intersted in (nano) until later---and I’m hungry now

I try hard not to buy toys these days because for whatever reason, growing up or not, I have realized decreasing returns on them as far as my emotions.  At the same time I like to be practical.  I have a 30gb iPod and a mini-sized Nokia phone.  I don’t wish to carry either but if they could both disappear without loss of functionality I’d make the investment immediately.

So yes I buy for practical reasons too.  Apple appeals to…
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[UPDATED]

So lately I’ve been thinking of things to do. While waiting for the releases of such sofware as IE 7 and Windows Vista, as well as an update to Google Earth that gives it a UI like Picasa and the Yahoo! Mail beta, I’d try something new. I decided upon seeing whether Linux truly is a solid platform for day-to-day computing. I decided that I would see what it would be like to have only Linux installed. Since there is no way I’d ever uninstall Windows (I know it far too well), I will just use the Linux distro I dual boot with.

The hardware I will use be using is as follows:

• Custom Built PC
• 3.0 Ghz Pentium 4 (1MB L2, HyperThreading)
• 512 MB PC 3200 DDR RAM
• ATi Radeon X850 PRO AGP
• 15” Sylvania Flat Panel
• 6GB 7200 RPM Maxtor HDD

The software I will be using:

• Ubuntu Linux 5.10
• GNOME 2.12 (Window Manager)
• Firefox 1.0.7
• Ximian Evolution
• GAIM
• AbiWord

I will follow these guidelines:

• Every task i need to do should at least be thoroughly attempted in Linux before going to Windows for that task.
• I can boot into Windows if I want to try something.…
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I’m going to make every mistake possible in reality because I think that’s what makes us stronger.  Bad strategies die quickly (hopefully) and good ones become clearer with failure, which I prefer to guide to action deliberately. 

One topic I care about lately is how to use mind-altering substances without ruining my life.  It started with alcohol which I avoided rather hatefully up till two weeks ago.  The same goes for marijuana. 

If I had a low-risk scenario I’d try every dangerous drug or experience I could get my hands on and use the Un-do button to suck the effects out of my beautiful nervous system.  Every drug.  Every food.  Every sexual partner.  Ya, being invincible makes you more open-minded and adventurous...just a lil’ more

That’s why I love computers.  They have un-do buttons or they can break and you can replace them.  It’s your fault if you didn’t set the situation up right to protect the unique data you’re using.  Otherwise, it’s all expendable...a commodity like a piece of paper except it has a logo for some inane reason!

P.S. I wanted to write this story in June.  It was one of my original ideas.  Now you must imagine where you would go, do, and destroy if it all was un-do-able?